Completion Time: 3h:51m:00s
Rating: 3/10

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We Got Ourselves a Convoy

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You might be surprised to find out that no, I’m in fact not doing a racing game so soon after I covered that Shrek Kart Racer. Beating the clock is only a small portion of what can be expected from this arcade port. This is not something I’ve ever played before, in arcade form or console form, but it being included in the most recent bounty set encouraged me to hop onto something that I normally wouldn’t opt to play. So, let’s get to driving some big ass trucks around and… deliver cargo, I guess?

Let's mosey on, asphalt cowboy

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Put it in Reverse!

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I don’t know why I thought this would be a truck racing game. I honestly, earnestly, really did. And I suppose you COULD frame the arcade mode like that from a certain angle, due to the presence of a Rival that will give you bonus points should you beat him to the Goal. But at the core of everything here beats the heart of a maneuverability/parking simulator.

Sure is dark in here, hopefully we don't cause a massive pileup!

So yeah, just playing through the Arcade mode isn’t that difficult. There are only 4 levels across the United States, and all the while you need to steer through traffic and make it to the checkpoint and eventual goal before the time runs out. The game is pretty forgiving here with the time, helped by the numerous vehicles you can find on the road that have an indicator above them telling you “Hey, ram into me to get extra time added to the clock!”, and so ram you shall. And be sure not to forget that you have your rival, Lizardtail, racing you the entire time. You don’t have to beat him, mind you, but if you do you get a bonus that will also allow you to participate in a small parking bonus stage between levels. These stages are just about parking in the green barrier without hitting a bunch of things to get a bonus. This is an arcade game ported to console, after all, so everything here is about points. If you don’t make it though, don’t fret. You have infinite continues! Nowhere to insert quarters into a GameCube, after all.

Out of my way, I need more time!!

There are some other modes, like Versus to race against your friends and Score Attack, which is exactly as it sounds. The real interesting gameplay addition to me is that of the Parking Stages. They essentially took the bonus levels from the Arcade mode and expanded them into a series of levels where, instead of driving through obstacles and parking in the designated rectangle, you must park in several different spots per level while racing against the clock. Every time you go off grid or ram into an obstacle, you’re going to dock yourself some time, giving you less wiggle room for being able to park in your final space. These start off innocuous enough, especially if you’ve already been playing Arcade mode and are familiar with the controls. If you started in Parking mode like me, however, you have quite the learning curve. And those last couple stages are rough! It took me a while to do the desert mountain range challenge, and forever and a day to do the final Factory stages! Parking around a tight corner in reverse with a large payload is something I would NEVER want to do in real life!

The most precarious route

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Completing the Game

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Few unlockable things here, but nothing too shocking or game changing. First and foremost, if you complete Arcade mode with each of the 4 available drivers, then you’ll unlock a secret 5th driver, a Japanese truck called Nippon Maru. The handling on this is just fine, the stats aren’t supremely better than the other trucks. But I appreciate the aesthetic and the overly ornamented design that went into this one.

If the inside of your car looks like this, I have no idea how you focus on driving

There is another character according to guides that you can allegedly unlock and raise as your rival, Lizardtail. The problem here is, I’m pretty sure this is a lie. I haven’t been able to verify myself, because the most alleged way to unlock him is by completing Arcade Mode with all other characters on Very Hard difficulty, and I’m just not nearly good enough for that. But I have not found any guides or videos online showing the use of this character, and notably the cheat code I used above didn’t unlock him either. I think this is one of your typical gaming rumors, at least until someone can show me proof otherwise.

Gah, I hate this guy so much!

The other thing of note is that the Parking Mode I listed earlier has two additional levels you unlock by completing the other 4, and boy oh boy are they hard. I played the last one for about an hour and a half before I realized that the one section, I was having trouble on could be bypassed by ramming my truck through a barricade and taking the small-time penalty. After that, I beat the final Parking stage almost immediately. Hurray for small successes!

Out of my way, I've got parking to do

One of those games where I can see the enjoyment just over the horizon, but I can never really get there. I must imagine I’d have much more fun playing this on its original arcade cabinet than here with the awkward control scheme, but even still, I always was able to realize how unique the control scheme was to match up with the complicated maneuverability of these larger truck-trailer vehicles. And the unlockable debacle, as I’m calling it. Please help me, I’d really like to know if I’m just missing anything with these two We get so many reboots and remakes of video games these days, or long-awaited continuations of dormant arcade franchises with a twist, and “18 Wheeler” could be a prime example of that. Give me another entry in this series with one of those jank-ass wheel peripherals, I beg of you!

This is another entry in a series where I go through and complete every GameCube game, as it is the largest part of my video game collection. GameCube Games: 39/652